The hand that's been feeding me

I'm going to say something here that's just not nice:

I hate pellet stoves. I mean, I hate them. It's a stupid idea that tends to be poorly constructed, providing the illusion of effortless stove heat while actually trapping the homeowner in a neverending cycle of malfunction.

I'm biting the hand a bit because for the last six months, I've been working in a stove shop, and sales this year were probably driven by the sudden popularity (in comparison to oil, I guess) of pellet stoves. But I have never seen a retail trend so utterly confirm my own opinion of an item, as complaint after complaint rolled in as soon as the temperature dropped into the 50s. I know people who--with brand new stoves--are on their fourth blower motor; I know folks whose stoves are as likely to blow smoke out the vent as heat.

Is there a fair amount of operator error? Absolutely. But, speaking as an operator now, there's also a fair amount of total crap. You don't want to put a cheap computer chip in charge of a fire. You just don't. The odds are that the stupid thing is going to overfeed--and if not, the auger won't work at all. Then, perhaps the aforementioned blower will give up on you; and even if it works, it is likely to put out far less heat than you expected. I spent a month or so in the store huddled in front of one brand that shall remain nameless. It was impossible to get warm without damned near molesting the thing. Anyone who's considering switching to wood pellet for their main heat source should be warned.

I speak, of course, in the figurative heat of the moment, as the smell of smoke clings to my hair, and the floor over the cellar gets colder and colder. I have an Englander down there (I'll name the ones I own), that just overfed and then turned itself off. I restarted the stove, checked it again, found it overfeeding, and turned it off, only to have the blower kick on after I'd hit the "off" button. On its third shot for the day, it's down there choking its way through ignition now, and we'll see if I can see my breath in the living room tomorrow morning. Piece of junk.

The one in the kitchen, a Quadrafire, gets a little less ire, but only for the moment. Right now, it's working, although I have to clean enormous clinkers out of it daily--despite burning so-called "premium low-ash pellets."

So bah humbug on pellet stoves. Save your money, your back, and your patience--these things aren't worth the shipping from China.